I was the 5-yr-old pampered baby of the family and I vividly remember peering out of the rear window of Nanny’s cherry red Plymouth Fury, tears streaming down my face as the image of my mother standing in front of our house grew smaller and smaller. I was going on my first out-of-town trip sans my parents and I was unbelievably excited, terrified and devastated. I desperately wanted to go stay with my grandmother in Atlanta but couldn’t imagine being away from my mother for a week…
I was a 9-yr-old tomboy and I vividly remember balancing as high on my tiptoes as possible, trying to keep the plane in sight through the cascade of tears that I had tried unsuccessfully to hold back. My sisters were on that plane and they were leaving, not to go back to the college that only took them three hours away from me but this time they were going much, much farther. They were leaving for the University of Hawaii and I was left behind, suddenly the only child in what seemed like a very quiet home…
I was a sullen 15-yr-old, lying in a strange bed in a strange house in a city I had no desire to live in. I watched as the clock flipped from 10:01 p.m. to 10:02…even the clock reminding me of where I wanted to be, in our old house—my home—at 1002 Ponderosa Dr…
I was a 38-yr-old soon-to-be ex-wife, walking out of my house for the last time. One last walkthrough to make sure I had gotten as many of my belongings as I needed, praying that I hadn’t missed anything important, trying unsuccessfully not to think about all of the memories I had made there. Flashes of the first time I walked into that house, barely hearing the buzzing of the real estate agent’s voice as I looked out onto the front yard and envisioned my future children playing there…and there were good memories and horrible ones. Unrealized dreams. It wasn’t my home anymore and hadn’t been for a long time. Nevertheless, the tears fell as I drove away…
I was a 41-yr-old mom and it was my daughter this time, not me, quietly sobbing in the back seat of the car as I drove her to her father’s. She was leaving for her summer trip to her grandmother’s in New York and she was excited, terrified and devastated. She couldn’t wait to see her grandmother but the thought of leaving her mother was just too much to bear. I wanted so badly to be able to reassure her and convince her that she would be fine, that the time would fly by in a blur of new toys and cookies and hugs and fun, and that when the time came to climb back in the car and come home to me she would once again be excited and sad and yes, she would cry as she pulled out of grandma’s driveway…
I remember being so angry at the teary goodbyes of my childhood. I didn’t understand why all the people I loved couldn’t live in the same place. Who would choose to move away from people who were important to them? What far off place could possibly hold appeal over family? And even now, as an adult who has lived other places and who understands the desire to relocate I still have those feelings. I still want the people I love to be near. I don’t like goodbyes.
Read THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE yet? If not, I highly recommend it.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
My metamorphosis into a crotchety old person...that's better than a cockroach, I guess.
After teaching for nearly 20 years you’d think there’d be little that could surprise me in the student excuses arena. And yet, it still happens. Every quarter/term I hear myself saying, “Honey! Listen to THIS email!” I am starting to sound like a really old person, constantly kvetching about the decline in intelligence and worth ethic of today’s youth. And maybe the constant barrage of asinine requests and assumptions have just worn me down. Maybe I was just a “goody-goody” student who wouldn’t have dared to question an assignment or due date or—heaven forbid!—call my professor at home on a Friday night to ask for clarification on a policy. Is it just me?
And let me just say, I am rather type A when it comes to clearly putting in writing my class policies and expectations. For example, if you were a student, would this phrase confuse you at all?
Assignment due dates can be found in the Course Calendar. These dates are not negotiable. Assignment grades are reduced 10 points for each day they are late. Assignments submitted more than 5 days late will not be accepted.
And yet, I continue to get emails such as this:
I know this assignment was due a few weeks ago but I went on vacation with my family and then my kids had soccer games and one broke her toe and then the water heater went out and I had to replace it and boy was that expensive! So anyway, here’s my paper…
One of my recent favorites was actually delivered in person. As she took the final exam instruction sheet from my hand this very sweet undergraduate expressed concern over her ability to pass the final since she was pretty sure she had had the wrong textbook the entire quarter since none of the assignments seemed to match up with the book…
Seriously?
I’ve got dozens of these stories, I tell ya’. But since I have class websites to update and laundry put away and floors that desperately need to be cleaned, I leave you with this last one, paraphrased to protect the not-so-innocent:
I know I missed the final that was on last Thursday and I done let this class get away from me this quarter but I am on house arrest and am taking four classes and have been really stress about me being incarcerated and I can prove all of this if you can just give me a C…
My husband and I are thinking that maybe I should find out what he’s under house arrest for before I turn in those grades…
And let me just say, I am rather type A when it comes to clearly putting in writing my class policies and expectations. For example, if you were a student, would this phrase confuse you at all?
Assignment due dates can be found in the Course Calendar. These dates are not negotiable. Assignment grades are reduced 10 points for each day they are late. Assignments submitted more than 5 days late will not be accepted.
And yet, I continue to get emails such as this:
I know this assignment was due a few weeks ago but I went on vacation with my family and then my kids had soccer games and one broke her toe and then the water heater went out and I had to replace it and boy was that expensive! So anyway, here’s my paper…
One of my recent favorites was actually delivered in person. As she took the final exam instruction sheet from my hand this very sweet undergraduate expressed concern over her ability to pass the final since she was pretty sure she had had the wrong textbook the entire quarter since none of the assignments seemed to match up with the book…
Seriously?
I’ve got dozens of these stories, I tell ya’. But since I have class websites to update and laundry put away and floors that desperately need to be cleaned, I leave you with this last one, paraphrased to protect the not-so-innocent:
I know I missed the final that was on last Thursday and I done let this class get away from me this quarter but I am on house arrest and am taking four classes and have been really stress about me being incarcerated and I can prove all of this if you can just give me a C…
My husband and I are thinking that maybe I should find out what he’s under house arrest for before I turn in those grades…
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Lizard Bingrich and Other Charades Failures
So, if you were in the midst of a fiercely competitive battle of charades (yes, there is such a thing!), and you had the founder of your county’s Republican party AND former governor Carroll Campbell’s director of health on your team, and you drew “Newt Gingrich” as the thing you had to make them guess, wouldn’t you think you’d been handed a gift from the heavens? Wouldn’t you be chuckling to yourself, as I was, thinking that you may set a new family charades low score record? Yeah, well, you know what they say comes right before a fall…
OK, so a bit of background to this whole sordid event…my entire family—meaning my parents, their three daughters, daughters’ spouses and children—all spent a week at the beach together. First time we’d all been together and it was fabulous. Many, many blog worthy events but for now I’ll focus on the one night “my” team tried its best to lose the family charades championship. See, every evening, we all rendezvoused at one of the two houses and each family was assigned cooking duties for one night. That was a FABULOUS idea and I highly recommend it. After dinner we divided into teams and played charades. Now, for the skeptics among you, let me just say that when this game was first suggested, I was not enthused. I could not have told you the last time I had played charades and I honestly had no desire to stand in front of my entire family and make a complete fool of myself trying to make them guess “Tess d’Urbervilles”. But ten minutes into the first round and I was a convert.
BRING IT, OTHER TEAM! We’ll take your “Great Potato Famine” and see you a “South Carolina Succeeds from the Union” thankyouverymuch!
Yeah, so things got competitive and fun and two of our four kids were totally into it as well, which brings us to night two and New Gingrich. I figured, in all of my charade-savvy arrogance, that if I got them to say “man” (they knew the category was famous people), and that his last name had two syllabus, the last one “rich”, which they got in less than ten seconds, that all I had left to do was to get them to guess “ging”…so I gave them the “sounds like” symbol and I pantomimed putting on a ring, which they said immediately…”Ring! Ring!…after that, the universe tilted on its access and nothing made sense. I spent the next minute and 20 seconds doing everything in my power to make my teammates—my political savvy teammates—say “Newt Gingrich” and the closest they got was “Lizard Bingrich”. Seriously? Who the hell is that? A professional wrestler?
The only silver lining of the evening was that my husband, who was on the enemy team, had a similar experience, that resulted in his team’s guess as “The Human Toe”, but that’s for another blog on another day…stay tuned!
OK, so a bit of background to this whole sordid event…my entire family—meaning my parents, their three daughters, daughters’ spouses and children—all spent a week at the beach together. First time we’d all been together and it was fabulous. Many, many blog worthy events but for now I’ll focus on the one night “my” team tried its best to lose the family charades championship. See, every evening, we all rendezvoused at one of the two houses and each family was assigned cooking duties for one night. That was a FABULOUS idea and I highly recommend it. After dinner we divided into teams and played charades. Now, for the skeptics among you, let me just say that when this game was first suggested, I was not enthused. I could not have told you the last time I had played charades and I honestly had no desire to stand in front of my entire family and make a complete fool of myself trying to make them guess “Tess d’Urbervilles”. But ten minutes into the first round and I was a convert.
BRING IT, OTHER TEAM! We’ll take your “Great Potato Famine” and see you a “South Carolina Succeeds from the Union” thankyouverymuch!
Yeah, so things got competitive and fun and two of our four kids were totally into it as well, which brings us to night two and New Gingrich. I figured, in all of my charade-savvy arrogance, that if I got them to say “man” (they knew the category was famous people), and that his last name had two syllabus, the last one “rich”, which they got in less than ten seconds, that all I had left to do was to get them to guess “ging”…so I gave them the “sounds like” symbol and I pantomimed putting on a ring, which they said immediately…”Ring! Ring!…after that, the universe tilted on its access and nothing made sense. I spent the next minute and 20 seconds doing everything in my power to make my teammates—my political savvy teammates—say “Newt Gingrich” and the closest they got was “Lizard Bingrich”. Seriously? Who the hell is that? A professional wrestler?
The only silver lining of the evening was that my husband, who was on the enemy team, had a similar experience, that resulted in his team’s guess as “The Human Toe”, but that’s for another blog on another day…stay tuned!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Slacker Blogger Returns
OK, so I’m a fair-weathered blogger. It’s not the first time you’ve seen me write that. When I disappear from my blog it’s a sure sign that life is stable and relatively drama-free…well, as drama free as life can be when you are playing the real life role of Carol Brady. I actually had to go back and read all my previous posts just to see what I had rambled on about oh so long ago…
What’s new in my world? Amazingly, not much, which isn’t a bad thing. Actually it’s a fabulous thing. We are all healthy and happy…yahoo! With all of the financial chaos in the country in the past year, we feel unbelievably fortunate to have bought our house when we did. We feel blessed to still be gainfully employed and to not be facing the crushing financial situations that so many are.
Considering the last thing I blogged about was paint way back in November, I guess I can start there for some semblance of a segue into the present. I did manage to get the girls’ rooms painted. They picked out the colors—aren’t we incredibly brave?!—and they look great. The colors perfectly reflect our children’s personalities. Deep blue for AG, hot pink for A and pale pink for J. I still feel like I need sunglasses to walk into A’s room, but it is a fun space and she loves it, which is all that matters.
We had our first Christmas in our own home. What fun! I loved pulling out the boxes of Christmas decorations and finding places to put each treasured item. We all went to pick out a live tree that the kids decorated. It was beautiful! In spite of saying we weren’t going to overdo it with the gift buying, we did anyway. The major family gift was a trip to Disney World in February, but then somehow there were all sorts of other presents that showed up under our tree, like pink DS’s and a Wii! We may have set a bad, bad precedent.
So Disney…yeah, we did it. Seven people in the minivan driving seven hours to the Magic Kingdom. Was it worth it? Oh yes! We had some rocky moments—you can’t go on a major trip with four kids and not have those—but not many and overall it was a fabulous trip. The kids still talk about it and look at their photo albums on a regular basis. We’re already in family negotiations to determine our destination for next year. So far New York City seems to be the front-runner. Although I’d love to take them to a real dude ranch out west, or one of the amazing national parks in this country, or to the Florida Keys… There are just so many places I want us to go.
Speaking of trips, this weekend we head to the beach for a family reunion with my side of the family. There will be 18 of us in two houses. This will be the first time that my parents will have all three of their daughters and all of their grandchildren in the same place at the same time. My sister has hired a professional photographer to take pictures of our crew on the beach…could be a logistical nightmare but if it works it will be quite the treasure.
We’ll return home after a week at the beach and the usual summer semi-organized madness will commence. Two of our children will head off to NY for two weeks. Then there are summer camps, and work, and hopefully lots of afternoons and evenings out by (and in) the pool. We’re determined to get a few short weekend trips in to the zoo and Six Flags and Stone Mountain as well. I’m also looking forward to getting some more projects done at home. I still haven’t painted that 1970’s brown paneling downstairs…
**Isn’t this just the most exciting blog you’ve ever read?! Aren’t you beyond ecstatic that I’ve started blogging again?!**
I’m sure this weekend will provide me with much blog-worthy fodder. There’s nothing like bringing an entire family together for an extended period of time to produce drama and chaos that is sure to be a combination of “All in the Family” and “My Cousin Earl” with a bit of “Meet the Press” and “The Daily Show with John Stewart” tossed in for good measure. My mother is actually concerned about whether my husband will still be talking to her after this week is over as she is taking full responsibility for coercing him into the total family immersion experiment. I’ll have a bottle of single malt scotch and my therapist on speed dial just in case…
What’s new in my world? Amazingly, not much, which isn’t a bad thing. Actually it’s a fabulous thing. We are all healthy and happy…yahoo! With all of the financial chaos in the country in the past year, we feel unbelievably fortunate to have bought our house when we did. We feel blessed to still be gainfully employed and to not be facing the crushing financial situations that so many are.
Considering the last thing I blogged about was paint way back in November, I guess I can start there for some semblance of a segue into the present. I did manage to get the girls’ rooms painted. They picked out the colors—aren’t we incredibly brave?!—and they look great. The colors perfectly reflect our children’s personalities. Deep blue for AG, hot pink for A and pale pink for J. I still feel like I need sunglasses to walk into A’s room, but it is a fun space and she loves it, which is all that matters.
We had our first Christmas in our own home. What fun! I loved pulling out the boxes of Christmas decorations and finding places to put each treasured item. We all went to pick out a live tree that the kids decorated. It was beautiful! In spite of saying we weren’t going to overdo it with the gift buying, we did anyway. The major family gift was a trip to Disney World in February, but then somehow there were all sorts of other presents that showed up under our tree, like pink DS’s and a Wii! We may have set a bad, bad precedent.
So Disney…yeah, we did it. Seven people in the minivan driving seven hours to the Magic Kingdom. Was it worth it? Oh yes! We had some rocky moments—you can’t go on a major trip with four kids and not have those—but not many and overall it was a fabulous trip. The kids still talk about it and look at their photo albums on a regular basis. We’re already in family negotiations to determine our destination for next year. So far New York City seems to be the front-runner. Although I’d love to take them to a real dude ranch out west, or one of the amazing national parks in this country, or to the Florida Keys… There are just so many places I want us to go.
Speaking of trips, this weekend we head to the beach for a family reunion with my side of the family. There will be 18 of us in two houses. This will be the first time that my parents will have all three of their daughters and all of their grandchildren in the same place at the same time. My sister has hired a professional photographer to take pictures of our crew on the beach…could be a logistical nightmare but if it works it will be quite the treasure.
We’ll return home after a week at the beach and the usual summer semi-organized madness will commence. Two of our children will head off to NY for two weeks. Then there are summer camps, and work, and hopefully lots of afternoons and evenings out by (and in) the pool. We’re determined to get a few short weekend trips in to the zoo and Six Flags and Stone Mountain as well. I’m also looking forward to getting some more projects done at home. I still haven’t painted that 1970’s brown paneling downstairs…
**Isn’t this just the most exciting blog you’ve ever read?! Aren’t you beyond ecstatic that I’ve started blogging again?!**
I’m sure this weekend will provide me with much blog-worthy fodder. There’s nothing like bringing an entire family together for an extended period of time to produce drama and chaos that is sure to be a combination of “All in the Family” and “My Cousin Earl” with a bit of “Meet the Press” and “The Daily Show with John Stewart” tossed in for good measure. My mother is actually concerned about whether my husband will still be talking to her after this week is over as she is taking full responsibility for coercing him into the total family immersion experiment. I’ll have a bottle of single malt scotch and my therapist on speed dial just in case…
Saturday, November 15, 2008
All It Takes Is...Paint?
When we were ushered into this house seven months ago by a very experienced and enthusiastic real estate agent, the first thing I noticed were the walls. They were white. All of them. Except for the parts in the bathroom covered up by the 1970's tile (dusty rose, anyone?) and the basement, which is encased in the brown paneling seen so frequently in the now defunct "That 70's Show". So once we signed the papers and were handed the keys my first thought was "Paint!! NOW!!" Fast forward seven months...so little things like moving and kids and work and life kept interfering with my primal instinct to slap some color on those walls, but no more! Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have Paint!
How is it that a coat of colored latex and a few pieces of art and accessories hanging on the walls can so dramatically change a space? I feel home now. I walk into rooms and take deep breaths...not deep "you can deal with this for another day" kind of breath but a "this is what you've been waiting for" kind of breath. Even the kids feel the change and love it...thank goodness! Their rooms are next on the painting wish list and I'm determined to get them done before Christmas.
Today I worked on our bedroom and after six months of sleeping in it and seeing its potential I'm finally loving it. It's our space, our retreat, the place my husband and I desperately need and enjoy sharing. I'll work on our dressing room tomorrow--thank goodness for those curtains that block off the view right now and allow me to pretend it's all finished...
Little by little we are turning this wonderful space into ours, all of ours, and it's fabulous. Maybe by the time Smoof and I are babysitting our grandchildren I'll finally have it exactly like I want it. ;-) Just kidding, Smoof! (Well, sort of.)
How is it that a coat of colored latex and a few pieces of art and accessories hanging on the walls can so dramatically change a space? I feel home now. I walk into rooms and take deep breaths...not deep "you can deal with this for another day" kind of breath but a "this is what you've been waiting for" kind of breath. Even the kids feel the change and love it...thank goodness! Their rooms are next on the painting wish list and I'm determined to get them done before Christmas.
Today I worked on our bedroom and after six months of sleeping in it and seeing its potential I'm finally loving it. It's our space, our retreat, the place my husband and I desperately need and enjoy sharing. I'll work on our dressing room tomorrow--thank goodness for those curtains that block off the view right now and allow me to pretend it's all finished...
Little by little we are turning this wonderful space into ours, all of ours, and it's fabulous. Maybe by the time Smoof and I are babysitting our grandchildren I'll finally have it exactly like I want it. ;-) Just kidding, Smoof! (Well, sort of.)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Weddings
So this past weekend I had the honor of being a bridesmaid in one of my dearest friend's wedding. I'd made jokes over the past few months about "The 40-yr-old Bridesmaid" being a sequel to "The 40-yr-old Virgin" and I did have a bit of trepidation at being the old married lady in the group, but I ended up loving the whole weekend.
I got to hang out with some really cool women, eat lots of yummy food, drink mimosas and red wine, wear pretty clothes, and end the festivities on the dance floor with my husband. Who could ask for more?
My dear friend looked gorgeous and by the end of the evening incredibly happy as well. We wish her nothing but the best!
I got to hang out with some really cool women, eat lots of yummy food, drink mimosas and red wine, wear pretty clothes, and end the festivities on the dance floor with my husband. Who could ask for more?
My dear friend looked gorgeous and by the end of the evening incredibly happy as well. We wish her nothing but the best!
Friday, September 26, 2008
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